September 24, 2024

Dear Friends, 

Readers Digest Canada quotes a mother, Holly Ballantine, “My daughter said she can’t wait to  have kids. I asked her why and she said, ‘So they can bring me stuff when it’s in another  room.’” 

Parents, grandparents, — here is a truth that I would strongly advise you to take to heart. Kids  are always watching you and they are learning about the way life works, what to expect from  life, their “rights” with respect to life, how to treat others, how to drive, what to eat (or not eat),  what opinions to have, how to talk with (and about) others, and much more. Second only to  God, himself, they are always observing you. They see you when you sit down and they see  you when you rise up. They see you at your best and they see you at your worst. 

Why causes this shaping? Why do your actions, words and opinions carry so much weight?  It’s because, in the early years especially, you are the literal definition of “normal.” You model  “normal” every day and in every way. You are the most significant people in their lives. They  have already learned to equate comfort, satiation and security with your presence. They come  to understand what love is by the way you treat not only them, but everyone else with whom  they see you interact. 

I know this is sobering — maybe even frightening, but it’s not really bad news. In fact, this  kind of scrutiny gives us two great opportunities. First, and most obviously, we have the ability  to significantly shape our child’s sense of worth, behavior and purpose. Most assuredly, they  will eventually think for themselves and evaluate what they learned at your knee when they  were young but, if you have raised them well, they will not throw away that which is good and  true — the things you modelled for them — unless you have given them reason to do so. 

This leads to the second opportunity. I get the chance to evaluate the way I live and make the  changes necessary to ensure that my values are reflected by my lifestyle. If I want my kids to  be healthy, do they see me eating well and exercising vigorously? If I want my kids to learn to  

serve others, do they see me doing it and am I inviting them into that serving opportunity?  You’re smart people. You get the point. Their watching gives us the chance to learn to live  with integrity — minimizing the gap between what we espouse and what we do. 

Parents, you have a huge challenge and a huge opportunity. It’s hard to remember that when  you’re exhausted from chasing the little rapscallions around and just making sure that their  needs are met and that they are safe. But you don’t have to do this alone. We are a  community of faith. Ask for help. Ask for prayer. Ask for a break. And if you feel like this is all  overwhelming, I direct you to the advice of Jesus’ brother, James: “If any of you is lacking in  wisdom, ask God, who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly, and it will be given you. But  ask in faith, never doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, driven and  tossed by the wind; for the doubter, being double-minded and unstable in every way, must  not expect to receive anything from the Lord.” 

Blessings! 

Doug