May 20, 2025
Hi Friends,
The Toronto Maple Leafs lost another game seven and are out of the playoffs. The media (at least the Toronto based media, some of it, ironically, owned by the same conglomerate that owns the team) are crucifying the players. The fans displayed their “class” by throwing all manner of objects on the ice, even during play. Even more ironic, a star player and the head coach of Florida (the team that won the game) both spoke at length about how well the Leafs played and how the media were unfairly treating the players.
Normally, I wouldn’t give professional sports the time of day but having recently watched little kids (6-8 years old) score goals in a game where no score keeping is done and then celebrate the way they have seen their NHL idols celebrate, I have to recognize the disproportionate influence these sports have on our lives and behavior. The vitriol expressed by fans and media alike point out an interesting reality about our culture.
To put it in words my grandmother might have used, we have “forgotten our manners.” You remember “manners” — those means of interacting with others, treating others, and expressing yourself appropriately to others in a way defined acceptable by the culture at large.
Alas, those days appear gone. “I” is the centre of the universe. What others think doesn’t matter to me (despite all the angst created by cyber-bullying, etc.). I can express myself in whatever way I deem appropriate whether it bothers you or not. We have become a coarse, vulgar, intolerant and abusive society. We are not “nice.” To most people, “nice” doesn’t even matter. And yet, another irony, we all like being around that person whom we classify as a “nice person.”
Oh, and one other thing — Christians are as bad at manners as the culture in general. We think nothing of showing up late to an event, not showing up at all (without even so much as an explanation) even when we have registered, talking over one another, evaluating everything in terms of its effect on us, treating others crassly rather than kindly (especially those who appear to disagree with us). I could go on but you live in this same world that I do and you see it too.
At the root of good manners is the “golden rule” which comes from the lips of Jesus. The effect of good manners is to put others ahead of ourselves for the sake of the greater good (that is, a decent, kind, caring, just society — and to please God). Developing good manners requires (and teaches) discipline. Anyone can throw a tantrum but it takes grace, wisdom, patience and humility to express anger in a way that is not destructive.
As Christians, we are to be people of wholesome talk, respectful of others (even while disagreeing), tenderhearted toward others, forgiving of others’ sins, bearing with others, looking out for the interests of others. It’s a daunting task for which we need much grace. It may also be one of the ways we bear witness well in this darkening culture. It is most certainly a practical way to love others and an important thing to teach our children and grandchildren.
Blessings!
Doug