October 7, 2025

Hi Friends,

I sat by my friend’s hospital bed and he said, “Sixty years — I fear I’ve wasted so much time and so many opportunities that were given to me. I’m not nearly as good as I could or should be.”

Are you becoming “as good as you could or should be?” Are you doing things that matter?

In order to answer my questions, you may need to ask some others: How do I know which are the things that matter? Why does it even matter if I get better?

I’ll answer the last question first. If you are a Christian, your life is not your own. It is a stewardship you have been given and for which you will give an account before Jesus.

As to knowing which are the things that matter, you have the scriptures which describe and give examples of the type of person who pleases God. If that is not enough, you have the person of Jesus himself, who is our supreme example, a man who was full of grace and truth, tempted in every way as we are, and able to understand us in our weakness.

The first question, however, is the key. Kevin Belmonte, in his biography of William Wilberforce, who, after coming to Christ, regretted deeply how he had wasted his youth on superficial pursuits and pleasures, says: “Like Benjamin Franklin, from whom he had received such a cordial greeting in Paris in 1783, Wilberforce also developed the habit of keeping lists of virtues he wished to acquire, a program for practicing them, and rules for the best management of his time. Speaking of his practice, Franklin had wryly commented: ‘I was surprised to find myself so much fuller of faults than I had imagined; but then I had the satisfaction of seeing them diminish.’”

We’ve seen people, young and old, women and men, become deeper and more godly people, better spouses, better friends, better witnesses — all because they essentially practiced this principle in a program called “Rule of Life.” I’m not writing about that particular program but about the process. A person takes time alone with God to determine which things he/she needs to work on in this immediate time to be more like the person God wants them to be. They make a list. They commit to doing the things on the list and to meeting with others to talk about their success or their failure (there are usually both on this journey).

As someone who is as independent as they come, I will say that you can attempt this on your own but you will find it much more difficult. But, again, that is not my point. 

If you want to grow in your character, you need a list of specific areas. You need a method to actually practice the things that will make you better. You need a means of evaluating your progress (often, this is someone outside yourself) and sharing your progress as well as your challenges.

Wilberforce, by his discipline and his lists, made up for all those lost years. You can do so as well.

Blessings!

Doug