November 4, 2025

Hi Friends,

The boat hit the rock with a glancing thud and lurched sideways. For a brief instant, I filled the air with language that shouldn’t be coming from the mouth of a father (there were two boys in the boat), let alone a pastor, language that definitely shouldn’t be heard by young boys. Meanwhile, the other father in the boat was laughing maniacally, which didn’t do much to dampen my internal temperature at that moment. It wasn’t my finest hour — by a long stretch. Honestly, it’s a bit embarrassing to even talk about.

I thought about that incident today as I read: “Stay awake and pray that you won't be tested. You want to do what is right, but you are weak.” (Mt. 26:41 CEV)

Where does our weakness come from? In my case, I grew up around men who swore to express anything from great anger to unfathomable amazement. It was literally the air I breathed at times (or at least the foul contamination of the air I breathed). It was a mark of entering into manhood when you were allowed to swear (anything before that involved a bar of soap and a mouth wash — literally). In that specific instance, I was panicked by the thought that I had just ruined a motor on a rented boat and I was afraid that those boys might be thrown into the water and into tragedy. I knew better but I wasn’t thinking. I defaulted to learned behavior. I definitely wasn’t praying!

This is only one of the points where I am “weak.” There are others. Do you know where your weaknesses lie? You can’t do anything about that which you won’t acknowledge. We give Peter a hard time for denying Jesus because, when the pressure was really on, he didn’t think — he defaulted. But did you ever wonder why he was in that place? It’s because, unlike the other disciples — he exercised the courage to follow Jesus into that hostile environment. Peter’s problem was not his courage (remember, he got out of the boat and walked on water also), it was thinking that he was strong enough to face his weaknesses and overcome them consistently on his own. “Even if the others deny you, I won’t,” must have rung in his ears and sickened him after he heard the rooster crow that third time. He had failed at a point where he was sure he was strong.

Once you know and admit your weaknesses,  you can work on them. Pray. Understand and think about where they come from. Study scripture related to them. Get help. Find disciplines that enable you to make yourself available to the Spirit so as to change your defaults over time. And tell others about your challenges. You can’t do this alone. Even Jesus had three friends, sleepy as they were, in that garden as he wrestled with doing God’s will. The difference between Jesus and us is that he was aware of his weakness and literally entrusted himself to God, choosing the right way over himself. That’s where we need to begin also. To quote Joshua, “Choose … this day whom you will serve,” and, in my case, how you will speak.

Blessings!

Doug