August 18th, 2026

Dear Friends,

For some unknown reason, my granddaughter, Elly, has suddenly become highly interested in fishing. Last week, she burst through our door, “Grandpa, Mom and I found this fishing rod at Walmart at half-price but we wanted to check with you before we bought it to make sure that it was worth it.” After a bit of research, I gave the thumbs up and Elly bounded out. A few hours later, she burst back in, beside herself with excitement as she showed off her new fishing rod and all the stuff that came with it. 

Since then, we’ve found her a tackle box, purchased $70 worth of basic lures and necessities (you get hardly anything for that price these days), taken back $70 worth of basic lures to the store for a refund after I found all my old gear (I’ve been fly fishing for 23 years and had to locate my old spinning gear.), had a lesson in rod and hook safety, made a casting plug (a paper clip inserted in an old eraser) so that she could practice casting in the yard, had a couple of casting lessons and then a “live fire” lesson where she lobbed a small lure into our waterfall pond to get used to reeling. Elly was gung ho at every step.

However, I noticed that she did not like to be told what to do once she felt like she knew what was necessary. Her frustration would rise significantly when I insisted that she couldn’t do things the way she felt like doing them. With raised voice, at times, she insisted that she “knew what to do” and could “do it by myself.” She wanted my coaching until she didn’t. You can imagine the response when I declared that approach unacceptable.

I thought about Elly yesterday while I was considering the subject of the Lordship of Jesus and the practice of self-denial among Christians. Jesus is pretty clear about this. “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.” “For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.” “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple.” “In the same way, those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciples.”

We seem to practice a curated denial (if we practice self-denial at all) today. Before denying ourselves anything, we first ask, “what’s in it for me?” That is not self-denial but self-enthronement. We are called to put God and his will before family, before personal safety, before our desire to live (Father, take this cup … not my will but yours be done”), before establishing ourselves and our security, before our dietary preferences and community preferences and relaxation preferences, and every other kind of preference. Those of us who are older are called to deny the idea that we have put in our time and now deserve a more restful life. And, sadly, we think this denial of denying ourselves is okay and normal.

In God’s kingdom, we are valued, but we are not in charge and we don’t get to have our way. He is Lord. We are slaves to love. We would be well-served to spend much less time defining ourselves and much more time figuring out how God wants us to deny ourselves. I suspect we’d also be more joyful, more content, and more aware of God’s will and provision for us. Elly discovered she could fish better and more consistently if she did what I said. Go figure!!

Blessings!

Doug